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How To Stay Connected to Your Children While They Are At Sleep Away Camp

By Lois Deckelbaum

     Regardless of whether your child is going away for the first time or has been going away for years, leaving home is a big step. However, it can be just as stressful for parents! Feel more relaxed and confident by discussing with your child before he/she leaves how you will remain connected.

     Know the camp’s phone, mail and visiting policy. Phone policies vary widely from camp to camp. Some allow you to call after the first few days and some not at all. Make sure your child knows what to expect. Frequent phone calls can disrupt your child’s adjustment to camp and may work against the goals of establishing independence. Make a plan with your child before he/she leaves for camp. Discuss why you may not want them to call too frequently. Express the importance of having your child problem solve on his/her own. Encourage the camper to speak with staff about concerns. Encourage him/her to talk with friends who may be able to help him through rough times. One of the beautiful benefits of sending a child to camp is the growth that can come out of handling difficult situations. Encourage writing or emailing (if available). They are lasting ways of communicating and the camper can read and re-read at will. Hearing a voice can too often set a camper back into a homesick mode and delay integration into camp life.

     With the new age of technology, computers have made it easier for us to keep in touch. Some camps have welcomed computers while others have chosen to keep the traditional aspects inherent to camping intact. At one extreme are those programs that post daily pages on a web site for you to see what your child is doing. Others permit some e-mailing and faxing and some feel it is intrusive. (Also, be aware that some camps charge for faxes. After paying thousands of dollars for tuition expenses, this fee can be an extreme irritation. If the situation is known at the outset, aggravation can be avoided later.) Carefully check the camp’s philosophy and policy on the Internet, e-mailing and faxing and make sure your values match those of the camps and the director. At the least, discuss with your child your means of communicating back and forth while he/she is away.

     Snail mail is still a wonderful way to keep in touch with your camper. Send many letters and often! Make sure you have one waiting at camp for when they arrive. Give them pre-stamped, pre-addressed or even the boxed stationary letters with check-off messages for them to easily send. Have grandparents and friends and other relatives write letters. “Mail Call” is usually an exciting time for children at camp. Write frequently!!!!! However, try not to tell the camper what he is missing at home. Refrain from telling him about the delicious dinner you had at his favorite restaurant. Limit writing about the wonderful time you had at beach and “how you wished he were there.” Mail care packages once a week or once every other week for those staying 4-8 weeks. This gives them something to look forward to. Everyone likes a nice surprise. Just try not to overdo it and, once more, check the camp policies. Remember that it is not necessarily what is in the package that matters – it is more the joy of getting something – ANYTHING!! Simple and inexpensive items that can engage your child with others are wonderful. It is not necessary to make costly purchases.

     Visiting Day is another special time for campers. If you can’t make it, try to send someone in your place or send treats with another mom or dad who may be close to your child. If you do not send goodies and all the other campers have them, you can put your child in an awkward position. Don’t forget – do not send food if the camp prohibits it.

     Your child will miss you as much as you will miss him/her. The first few days can be an adjustment for anyone going to a new place and for anyone adjusting to living with a new group of people. Send along photos of your family and even that special pet. Don’t forget to pack that special blanket or stuffed friend. Show your child how to hide it in their pillowcase if needed to avoid possible embarrassment. Security items are always a big comfort and are bound to help your child through any natural homesickness. Don’t be upset if the first few letters are not positive. It is normal for a child to feel a bit homesick during the first few days. It should pass relatively quickly. Most times, dealing with homesickness is harder on the parent than on the child!!! All these tricks of the trade should help you and your camper feel more connected while they are away at camp having a ball.

     Tips on Trips and Camps, Inc. is a free service specializing in overnight summer experiences for children ages 8-18. They have consultants in 12 cities in the US and abroad. To speak with a consultant call (610) 649-0911 or email Lois@tipsontripsandcamps.com or find us on the web at www.tipsontripsandcamps.com.