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Denise Stagliano is Surviving Motherhood With a Little TLC
By Lauren Lazaruk

“Today is my day so mommy has to be on the phone for a little while,” Denise Stagliano explained to her twin 4-year-olds, Melanie and Brian Jr. She handed them their art kits as they made their way over to the table without dispute to work on crafts while mommy spoke with a Curious Parents reporter.

            Stagliano wasn’t being smug; she was simply following one of the main rules of the house which involves putting the days of the week on a calendar and assigning each day to a different person to be in charge, like when one member of the family decides what’s for lunch on a particular day (after mom gives them a couple of options). 

            She learned the ‘Leader of the Day’ trick from another mother she met as a guest on an episode for the TLC series Surviving Motherhood.

            As a stay-at-home mom, 33-year-old Stagliano has her hands full whether or not a camera crew is there to capture the commotion of entertaining the twins, taking care of her 10-month-old daughter, Reese, finishing up her two-year term as President of the Valley Forge Mothers of Twins and Triplets Club and running her full-time personal business of selling hand-painted signs, gifts and furniture from their cozy split-level home in East Norton, Pa. Her husband, Brian Stagliano, 32,  is busy too, running the family-owned and operated heating and air-conditioning business and rushing home to help out by their set six o’clock dinnertime.

            “I like holding on to the traditional values,” said Stagliano about being home to raise the children and sitting down to a family dinner every night. “It was something my husband and I always talked about.”

            When the Staglianos sit down for supper, they say Grace and either Brian or Melanie will help to feed the baby after starting the evening routine of table talk on their assigned days. 
            Having twins was a blessing to the Stagliano family for sure, but conceiving children at all was a blessing in and of itself due to Denise’s diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Disease.

            “We didn’t even think we could get pregnant,” said Stagliano. “Then all of a sudden I hear I’m pregnant with twins!”

            Stagliano was seven months pregnant with the twins and taking Lamaze classes when a classmate suggested joining the Valley Forge Mother of Twins and Triplets Club, a state and national support organization for moms of twins, triplets or more.

            “I liked it so much I became president,” Stagliano said jokingly. “What can I say—I go for the gusto!”

            The organization holds meetings the second Wednesday of every month for its 132 members, whose children range from just a few months old to over 30 years old.

            “You have a bond with other moms of multiples even if you don’t know them because you know what each other (goes) through,” said Stagliano.

            But the hardest part of being a mom of multiples for Stagliano wasn’t balancing full hands and a busy schedule, it is finding a way to set rules and follow through with a discipline routine that worked for the twins. Anything she tried up until then had failed, so she decided to respond to a wanted posting from the show, Surviving Motherhood, seeking three or four troubled moms of multiples.

            “I always liked the show,” she said. “I think a lot of times shows try to portray the parents as being clueless and this one doesn’t do that. I knew I would get something out of it as far as helping my children with discipline.”

            It was a three-part project for Stagliano and the four other guest mothers, each of whom had a different problem to discuss on the show. First, the moms met at a coffee house and offered each other advice. Then each person was assigned a package day when a film crew would arrive at their house to capture the in-home experience, and lastly, experts offered advice on how to address the individual issues and the show followed-up to find out if the advice had helped.

            “A lot of the advice seemed common sense, but I just wasn’t getting it and I guess I had to see it in writing,” said Stagliano, whose advice came from an expert who also had boy-girl twins. 

            Stagliano credits the experience with making it easier to handle the everyday challenges she faces at home.

            Since the show was taped, Stagliano says the twins’ episodes of acting out have been fewer and further between and the kids have been very receptive to sticking to the house rules and making sure its okay with mom before doing things like climbing on the counters to get an afternoon snack.  

            “They always ask permission now and I never had that before,” she said. “So I chalk it up to now they’re being resourceful when mommy is busy with the baby.”

Lauren Lazaruk is an editorial assistant at Curious Parents