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Education

When to Call Your Child’s Principal?
By Robert Ruder

To some parents, the thought of calling their child’s principal is something they would prefer to avoid. For them, speaking to the principal is a stressful, upsetting ordeal that is wrought with anxiety and fear. The notion of speaking with the school’s leader may evoke fearful memories of being sent to the principal’s office or time spent in it. Other parents will relish the idea of calling a building administrator. This population envisions a chat with the principal akin to a walk in a park on a beautiful spring day. It’s a refreshing break in a daily routine and an opportunity to dialogue with the educational leader of their child’s school. Yet a third group is determined to badger the principal on a regular basis. Often taking the administrator to task for the most mundane issues ...those over which the principal may have little or no control.

My experience as a principal taught me to value telephone calls from the parents and guardians of my students. Regardless of the reason for the call, the very fact that a child’s parent chose to call me, meant their concern was important to them. Some conversations could be lengthy while others brief. Some meandered and others cut right to the chase. Sometimes there was dialogue and other times there was a parent monologue. At times I remained silent and listened to the parent. During the silent times, I was sometimes asked if I was still on the line. Being a good listener occasionally means learning to be silent.

Calling your child’s principal need not be traumatic. In fact, the conversation should always be productive. A principal depends on parents to keep him or her current with what might be going on in the lavatories, the school bus or the playground. Parents can apprise the principal of who are the school’s bullies, if the hallways are clean and if there are neighborhood problems that should concern the school. 

The reasons for calling the principal are unlimited. However, in the hectic pace in which many principals and parents live, deciding what issues need to be brought to the principal’s attention will offer efficiency to both parties.

The following checklist will assist parents in determining when to call the principal:

Your child’s safety

Contact your child’s principal immediately if his or her safety is compromised by another student whether it was in the school or on the way to or from it. Do not send an e-mail, leave a voice message or rely on the school’s secretary to communicate your concern to the principal. If the principal is not available, insist that the principal return your call as soon as possible and provide telephone numbers where you can be reached.

Do not notify the principal if your child has been accosted or assaulted by a stranger on their way to or from school or at school. Notify law enforcement personnel immediately. Law enforcement will contact school officials.

The safety of others

Contact your child’s principal if your child or his or her classmates are being bullied in school, on the playground or on the bus by other students. Intimidating behavior such as intentionally bumping another child, pushing books off a desk or asking for money all fall under the bullying umbrella. These behaviors should not be tolerated.

Contact the principal immediately if members of the school’s staff act in ways that are questionable, make inappropriate comments or make your child feel intimated or threatened.

Teachers

Contact your child’s principal if a teacher’s demeanor is such that the students within the classroom are frightened, upset or made to cry. Verbal threats made to students, physical contact, sarcastic, intimidating or hurtful remarks about students, other teachers or staff members should be reported immediately.

Grades

The classroom or subject teacher should be the first person you contact regarding your child’s academic or behavioral status in their class. An e-mail or note is an acceptable method of contacting the teacher during the course of the day. Many schools allow parents to access grades, attendance and other important information through their Web site.

If despite your efforts, your child’s teacher does not respond to your query, contact the principal for assistance.  

Rumor Control

Students and parents MUST be guardians of each other in a school environment. Information related to hurtful behaviors gathered on the school bus, playground or cafeteria by students needs to be shared with parents. Students intent on doing harm to themselves, the school or members of the school’s community will usually share their thoughts or plans with classmates. Encourage your child, regardless of grade, to share threatening information with you. Convince your child that snitching is not cool but being honest and protecting other people and property is the right thing to do. Contact the principal with the information your child shares with you. Make sure to provide your name and the name of your child. Anonymous calls from parents are of little value. For the principal to address a problem related to the safety and welfare of the school’s occupants, he or she must receive information that is deemed reliable from an identifiable source.

The Principal

Contact the principal to share good news, too! Let the principal know if your child has received an award outside of the school environment for achievements in dance, drama, sports or academics. With your permission and if the school’s policy permits, this information can be included the school’s parents’ letter.

Parents need to be able to pick up the phone and call the principal without feeling butterflies in their stomachs. Communicating with your child’s principal will be beneficial for your child and ultimately the entire school community.

Dr. Bob Ruder is a freelance writer, former principal, and holds a doctorate from Temple U. in Educational Leadership & Supervision.