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How to Get an A+ in Reviewing Your Child’s Report Card

By Doug Tynan

All the holiday decorations have been lugged down the basement stairs and stored away in boxes that will collect dust until next year. But the one thing that won’t and shouldn’t be forgotten about for any period of time is your child’s education. And pretty soon it will be report card time. Report cards have been considered an essential part of school for generations and are the source of pride, accomplishment, anxiety, fear, or shame depending on the student’s performance, the parent’s expectations, and the teacher’s ratings. The interaction you have with your child around a report card can be positive or it can be negative. But most of all, it should be constructive. So start your and their new year off right when they receive their grades, whether it’s straight As or somewhere in between.

For Children in kindergarten through third-grade:

When you review a report card with a child in the primary grades, there are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Children this age tend to think of a report card as just “good” or “bad.” They need your help to understand the details.

2. Help them understand that a report card tells children how much they have learned and how hard they have worked.

3. Talk to them about their skills—the subjects they find easy and the ones that are harder as well as things they have just begun to learn.

4. Remind your child of how far they have come. For example, “Remember when school started, you could read a sentence and now you can read a whole page without help?” Very clear examples of what kids have learned help them understand that a report card is meant to measure progress.

For Kids in fourth-grade and above

Children this age will usually wait for a parent’s reaction to their report card; so, right away ask them how they think they did and start a conversation:

1. Lead the discussion with praise. Try to find at least three positive things in the report card before bringing up the negative.

2. Read the teacher’s comments. This will give you a good sense of your child’s behavior and effort and help you make a direct correlation between the comments and the grades—and what you have noticed at home. For example, maybe the grade was only a C, but the teacher notes that the child has put forth a strong effort and you know every night he’s getting his homework done. Doing this will help you better focus on where the problem areas are.

3. Once you find out why the grades are low, make a plan. If you take time to figure out the why; i.e., missing assignments, low test scores, behavior issues, you’ll have an easier time formulating a plan. For instance, if your child does all her assignments, but the test scores are still low, you can talk to her about a tutor.

4. Set reasonable goals for the next marking period. Don’t expect a failing grade to suddenly become an “A.” Aim for one letter grade better instead.

5. Meet with the teacher. If you still need more information on how your child is doing, set up a meeting with the teacher. Parents and teachers working together is the best way for a child to succeed in school.

Rewards & punishment

It’s natural to want to reward your son or daughter for making the honor roll or for significantly improving from one report card to the next. But it’s best to keep the reward small. A large reward—such as a video game system or an iPod—can create the expectation of future bigger rewards as well as decrease a child’s motivation for a short period of time. They put so much effort into this one big payoff that it may take time to build up for the next one. Instead, acknowledge their effort with a family event like dinner out or a movie; something that’s social, consumable, and brief.

Punishing a child for a bad report card will not increase a child’s effort to do better next time. In fact, it could lead to a cycle of negativity and anger that could make them do worse in school. You also don’t want to take away an extra-curricular activity. Studies show that high-achieving kids are usually involved in at least one extra activity.

A better approach would be to develop a plan of action. Discuss with your child what all of you will need to do differently. You can:

1. Create a homework hour.

2. Increase your level of supervision.

3. Make playtime or free time with friends contingent upon getting assignments completed.

4. Verify assignment with teachers.

5. Check your teen’s progress online. Many school districts post grades and progress in the higher grades.

With the proper motivation and plan, your child can improve and will succeed.

Doug Tynan is the Chief Preventive Health Psychologist at Nemours Health & Prevention Services, and is the former director of programs for children with behavior and learning problems and their families at the AI duPont Hospital for Children and the Children’s National Medical Center.