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Parenting

Dos & Don’ts for the New School Year

By Kris Berggren

September means fall colors, crisp apples, football games—and bulging backpacks full of books and three-ring binders waiting to be cracked open. Homework is exciting for some children who see it as a sign of growing up, and it provokes anxiety in other students if they have trouble keeping up with assignments or finding time and space to study. Whether your child must memorize math facts or solve differential equations, practice spelling words or analyze the symbolism in Jane Eyre, your assignment, parents, is to help your student succeed.  Here is a primer on creating a healthy homework climate:

Do communicate with the teacher.

Attend back-to-school night and conferences. Prioritizing “face time” with the teacher puts names and faces together and makes it easier to contact him later on if issues arise. Find out the teacher’s expectations of students and parents in the homework process. Does she have a Web site where you can monitor your child’s grades or review assignments? Does he welcome calls at home or prefer messages left at school? If your child commutes between two parents’ homes, let the teacher know your preferred channels of communication, too.

Do make homework do double duty.

Spelling or vocabulary lists, multiplication tables, beginning essays or reports (of the “what-I-did-this-summer” or “interview-a-grandparent” sort) can be vehicles for quality time with your child. Offer to go over their spelling list with them (maybe in the car on the way to soccer practice or piano lessons). Help them to brainstorm a list of questions for grandma. Ask their opinion about the friendship between Huck Finn and Jim. You’ll learn a lot about what your child is thinking, and they’ll be flattered that you’re interested.

Do schedule homework time with your child.

Today’s kids keenly feel the time crunch. Help your child use time well without burning out by planning the week’s work in advance. For example, if you know that Tuesday is band practice, then basketball, but Wednesday is free, encourage your child to designate harder or longer assignments for Wednesdays. Provide a calendar to write down which assignments they’ll do and when. They’ll feel satisfied to cross something off as it’s finished.

Do create the conditions for homework success.

Students need a place to study (and despite occasional protests to the contrary, this is not in front of the television during “The O.C.” or sprawled out on the floor with headphones blaring Eminem). They need nourishing snacks after school and adequate sleep. They need a desk and comfortable chair, good lighting, and room to spread out books and papers. Homework space can be shared, as at a kitchen table, or private, as in the child’s room—but it should be at least relatively quiet.

Parents can also avoid well-intentioned but misguided obstacles to successful learning. Here are a few caveats:

Don’t be afraid to set limits on other activities.

Consider enforcing a “homework-first” rule: Checking e-mail, returning phone calls and “screen time” is off limits until homework is done. Some parents limit extracurricular activities to one or two per season. Some parents allow social activities only one night per weekend. Others insist on preserving Sunday nights as “homework-free” zones so kids can relax before the school week starts again. Your child may actually be grateful for your help to set limits and preserve “down time.”

Don’t let your child substitute clicks for bricks.

It’s great that kids are comfortable with computers (often more so than mom and dad) but you can’t plug your memory stick into an SAT answer sheet. Critical thinking, reading comprehension and logical reasoning are still the basis for advanced learning—starting with college entrance exams. Internet resources may be handy for research (and unlike libraries, accessible at 11 p.m.) but beware of mom-and-pop Web sites which may provide accurate and substantiated information—or not. If you want to web surf for information, ask a college or public librarian for some good Internet research sources on topics your child is working on.

Don’t do the math (or the five-paragraph essay or the science project).

Allow your child to do his or her own work. Well, duh, you say—but some zealous parents forget their place, and forget that homework is where mistakes are supposed to be made and corrected—and learned from. Besides, teachers have seen it all, and they’ll likely recognize when you, and not your child, have done the work. If your child complains that he doesn’t “get it,” talk with the teacher.

Don’t make excuses for tardy or sloppy homework.

Curb the natural impulse to defend your child. (“But he had a hockey game until 11 p.m.,” or “She had play practice all week.”) Your child needs to learn that his or her actions have consequences and to plan ahead.

Practicing good homework habits and a can-do attitude—on the part of parents and their students—will go a long way toward honing lifelong learning skills and the character traits of persistence and thoroughness that will serve your child well beyond the school years.

Author Kris Berggren is a parenting expert. Her latest book  is “Strategies for Stay-at-Home Parents”