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THE COLLEGE SURVIVAL GUIDE for Parents
By Rebecca Lasky

A few short weeks ago, your baby walked up to the principal, shook his or her hand and walked away holding an envelope that would eventually carry their diploma; your child is now a high school graduate. If this graduation was anything like mine was four years ago, then the diploma will be sitting in a box in the lunch room waiting with everyone else’s to be retrieved after the ceremony.

Obviously, your new college student went through orientation and spoke with the students on campus about how to make it through that first year. Tips like maximize the clothing usage so as not to spend 10 plus dollars doing one load of laundry. Or the rumors of the “freshman 15” in which they will gain 15 lbs in that first year alone. Fear not, I will explain all of these to you, worried parents, and give you the needed tips of your own to survive your child’s first year at college.

Tip One: Always answer the phone when they call. Who knows? It may be important this time.

Now, as a recent college graduate I can assure you that the cell phone is the only means of communication. Sure, I e-mailed mom and dad when I knew they couldn’t or wouldn’t talk on the phone but there were times when hearing their voices kept me from going crazy. 

Tip Two: In regards to answering the phone, it is always important.

It really wouldn’t be a good thing if your child went stir crazy and took it out on their roommates now would it?

Tip Three: Know in advance that they will probably resort to eating one of the following as a basic food group: Ramen Noodles, Mac and Cheese, or Pop Tarts.

They’ll come home to eat real food. This is where that freshman 15 comes into play. If it takes more than five minutes to make, it won’t happen. But relax, your child may or may not discover the wonders of delivery and the dining hall. Hopefully at the same time they find out where the gym is and learn to go a few times a week to avoid the freshman 15. (I didn’t find the gym until my senior year.)

Need a suggestion for Ramen recipes? Try Toni Patrick’s book, 101 Things To Do With Ramen Noodles.

Tip Four: Do not feel obligated to take the largest meal plan available.

Chances are your child won’t eat in the dining hall anyway. Besides, there are supermarkets and other places on or near campus where they can eat. Refer to tip three.

Tip Five: Living with any type of friend, old or current, is BAD. VERY, VERY BAD!

I’m certain you know this already and would have told your college student this, but in case you haven’t or didn’t I’m here to let you know. Do not room with friends! Most colleges I know have requirements of incoming freshman. They have to live in the dorms. Which is just fine, don’t get me wrong. I have heard horror stories about friends rooming together. Let’s just leave it at the chances of that friendship staying intact after a few weeks are limited. They’ll learn things about their friends that will only fuel frustration and anger. And it’s always the little things, too. Just let them know. Also, by not rooming with a friend, they’ll have an escape from whatever the current roommate situation may be.

Tip Six: They may pick up a few bad habits, and if you’re lucky a few good ones, too.

I am not, by any means saying that every student who goes off to college picks up bad habits, but some do. Things such as cleaning up after themselves, washing the dishes they use, taking out the garbage, etc. Little things. I’ve seen people who used to be such neat freaks at home act as though they have maids. Such habits may come home with them. Suggestion: see to it these habits are not reinforced in the home, unless they are the good ones, of course.

Tip Seven: Your child may become home-sick and wish to come home often.

Had I known then what I know now about how much fun college life would be I probably would not have gone home so often my freshman year. I should also tell you I never went to sleep away camp or spent more than two nights away from home and even then, I was with friends or family. So, that said, my school was an hour or so drive away from home, and I was constantly hopping on the train Friday afternoons going home. Bad move. If your child is like this, always wanting to come home, encourage them to stay on campus despite their tears and misery. If the drive isn’t too far, suggest coming home every other weekend.

Tip Eight: Laundry is coming home with them.

More often than not when your child comes home for long weekends or holidays mountains of laundry come with them. I only ever brought home the blankets because they never seemed to fit in the school washer and dryer. (Yes, blankets do need to be washed occasionally.)

Tip Nine: The opposite of tip seven. If they don’t want to come home all the time, don’t make them. Enjoy your freedom!

If it’s your first child, or even your only child, and they would rather stay at school until that long weekend or holiday, then let them. It took until my junior year before I realized that it wasn’t as much fun coming home all the time as I did my freshman year. Sure, there were times where I was going to go insane if I didn’t leave Philadelphia but at the same time, no one was home. All of my friends were at school themselves, and it’s hard doing homework when there are other things going on like a family life. I know that feeling, and the train ride back was hardly enough time to get it done.

Tip Ten: Never show up unannounced. You may regret it.

Understandably, surprise visits are nice, however, there is a down side. You may walk in to find a disaster on the floor, teetering mountains of dishes in the sink, and clothes strewn on and around the bedroom. Or you could walk into something less appealing such as your child just waking up at 3 p.m. or coming back from a shower naked.

Tip Eleven: Co-ed dorms mean co-ed rooms. Deal.

I know the brochure will tell you that the dorms, not the rooms, are co-ed but trust me, once your baby gets to know a few people on the floor those rooms become co-ed.

Tip Twelve: Roommate privacy. 

A follow-up to tip nine, realize that some roommates have “partners.” You should inform your child that this is likely and to act accordingly. Should a situation occur at say, 4 a.m. where the roommate’s bed is squeaking and the sheets are moving more than they should at such an hour, the best solution would be to say something along the lines of, “I’m trying to sleep here. Could you do that elsewhere?” or “Do you hear that squeaking? Is it a mouse?”

Tip Thirteen: There will most likely be drinking in the dorm rooms, frat houses or at clubs, despite their age and dorm policy.

No matter how innocent you think your child is, know in advance that once a party is started there is bound to be drinking, and they may be thirsty. I do not endorse this but just so you know. It happens. Probably more than you’d like to think about.

Tip Fourteen: Book return policy. There is none.

Whereas turning in books at the end of each term/semester sounds like a noble idea, the reality is that the used book your child purchased at the beginning of the term/semester that cost $320 for a class in which they open it once just to see how many pages are really in it, will be sold back for a grand total of $5.25.

I am a 2008 Pennoni Honors College/Drexel University graduate. My parents survived the college experience with grace, dignity, a lot of college loans and only one degree major switch. So for all you parents out there just sending your innocent babe into the big world of “college,” kiss their foreheads goodbye, turn away so they don’t see you cry and in approximately four years, give or take a term/semester or two, they’ll come home, educated and not so innocent. Maybe. If my parents could survive, I’m positive you will too!

Rebecca Lasky is a freelance writer.