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Rock-a-Bye Baby with a Metallica Song?
No, Really, These CDs Mollify Metal Into Soothing Lullabies!
By Jared Brey

Do you ever wonder if your sleepy, music-loving infant gets bored of the same old Brahms lullaby and endless verses of “Hush Little Baby?” Don’t you wish you could share your highly sophisticated rock-and-roll taste with the little critter? Well now you can and without destroying your child’s delicate eardrums. Baby Rock Records presents a new series of albums featuring rock and pop classics converted into soothing instrumental lullabies. 

The Rockabye Baby! catalog is impressive. Choose from acts like Radiohead, Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins, No Doubt and The Cure to give your kids a head start on musical righteousness. Perhaps you’ve always loved the catchy simplicity of The Ramones, but find the smoky vocals and dirty guitars a bit unsuited for putting your baby to bed. Perhaps you’re fond of the strange, lush productions of Bjork’s best work, but worry your baby might be awoken every few minutes by unexpected crashes, bangs, booms and shrieks. Not to worry. These tame versions of your favorite rockers buff out the rough edges to reveal the song’s inner child. Stripped down to their musical skeletons, even the most abrasive songs transform into pretty little dreamers. Glockenspiels, vibraphones, harps and bells are the delicate tools used to craft these baby rock renditions, making them all the dreamier. Each album is arranged and performed by a different musician. And since each performer brings a different set of ideas to the project, the formula stays interesting. 

Not to downplay the genius of the world’s great classical composers, but there’s no reason to expect your baby to care about Brahms or Beethoven. The Beatles and the Pixies were geniuses too, even if their tunes haven’t been scientifically proven to boost a child’s I.Q. Plus, it’s never been proven listening to Brahms will turn your future toddler into a future Einstein. If you want to give your child a head start, eat plenty of Omega-3 fatty acids and brush your teeth after every meal during pregnancy. These steps are proven to help you deliver a healthy baby. Besides, what good is a high IQ if you flunk out of Rock ‘N’ Roll High School? These lullabies will strengthen your child’s ability to hear the simple elements that combine to make good pop songs. One of these days your baby is going to rise up singing, but it won’t be “All The Pretty Horses” he sings; it’ll be “Boys Don’t Cry.” 

The Rockabye Baby! CDs can be purchased in stores and online. For more information, visit www.babyrockrecords.com.  You and your baby will be rocking yourselves to sleep in no time.  

Jared Brey is a freelance writer.