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Mothers & Daughters
Creative Activities for Year-Round Relationship-Building

Little boys often want to “marry their mommies.” Even after they outgrow the infatuation stage, “Mom” certainly sets the standard for the other women in their lives. Mother-daughter relationships have perhaps even more stages, and sometimes more ups and downs.

Little girls wanting to emulate their role model play dress- up with their mother’s jewelry, heels and make-up. Then, over the next decade, Mom’s glam-factor can fade when she inexplicably becomes an embarrassment to her teenage daughter. Fortunately, a decade or two later, a lot of mothers and daughters become close friends again.

No relationship is quite as primal as the one between a mother and her daughter. Each one craves love and approval from the other, and many may not realize the tremendous influence they have on each other.

“If you have a strong mother-daughter relationship, it strengthens all the other relationships in your life,” said Mary Marcdante, noted mother-daughter relationship expert, inspirational speaker and author of My Mother, My Friend. In her research, Marcdante interviewed 400 mothers and daughters to help provide women with the skills, confidence and language to deepen their mother-daughter relationships.

What means the most to mothers? “Appreciation” is the one quality moms crave most from their families, Marcdante found.

Mother’s Day Can Provide A Springboard for Expressing Appreciation

“Children of all ages, and especially grown children, want to express thankfulness, appreciation and even amazement for all that moms do at home and even outside of the home. The challenge for us is they want to say it in a way that is comfortable for their age, their personal style and their relationship with Mom,” said American Greetings card writer and editor Carolyn Koesters, who is part of a team that created new Mother’s Day cards for the company.

“In addition to gathering outside research as we developed the new cards, our team looked to our own relationships with our moms and our kids for inspiration,” she said.

The new generation of American Greetings Mother’s Day cards recognizes all the roles moms play, from CEO of the family to personal shopper and life coach, with clever messages like, “You’re an inspiration to superheroes everywhere” and “You should consider franchising.”

Actions Show Mom You Care

In addition to showing appreciation with cards and gifts, Mother’s Day can also be a great time for relationship building. At what point do a mother and daughter become friends? For some women, it’s after they have married or had a child. For Mary Marcdante, it was the diagnosis of her mother’s ovarian cancer.

“From the moment I learned of the diagnosis until Mom’s death, I felt like I was in graduate school, cramming the night before finals for a course called: ‘Everything You’ve Always Wanted to Know About Your Mother and Forgot to Ask.’ This experience prompted me to write my book to help others strengthen, heal and celebrate their relationships with their mothers,” Marcdante said.

Her research revealed that there are four things moms want most from their daughters: time together, kindness in words and actions, captured memories, and personal services that improve the quality of life.

Marcdante has these suggestions for mother-daughter activities for Mother’s Day or any day:

1. Make a Scrapbook Together: Preserve treasured photos and honor memories through this wonderful outlet of creativity.

2. Spa Days: Moms and daughters can pamper themselves together, scheduling manicures, pedicures, facials and massages.

3. Record Favorite Memories of Mom: Whether in the form of a written journal, a memory box filled with keepsakes and photos or an audio or video recording, honor treasured moments together.

4. Make an “Altered Book”:  My sister asked her grown children for an altered book for Christmas. They took a favorite printed book and added their own photographs, poems and thoughts.

5. Send Gratitude e-mails:  One year my friend Dianne and I shared the things we were grateful for in daily e-mails. For her birthday the following year I presented the e-mails to her in a journal. We both cried!

6. Throw a Surprise Party:  Honor Mom with a surprise party inviting family and friends on Mother’s Day, her birthday or any day.

7. Schedule “Mom & Me Time”: Whether it’s taking a day trip or a walk in the woods, schedule quality time together.

8. Four Seasons of Fun: Make outings a regular thing by scheduling one for each season...gardening in the spring, picnicking at the beach in the summer, pumpkin picking in the fall or antiquing in the winter. Don’t wait for a crisis or Mother’s Day to spend time with Mom.

9. Recipes for Smiles: Put together a collection of recipe cards, adding to each favorite dish memories of a time with Mom.

For more information about Mary Marcdante’s book or more tips and thought starting questions for many of these activities, visit www.marymarcdante.com/mom.htm.