Curious Parents Party Resources

Holiday Cheer ... Beware the Perfection Trap
Publisher's Note

The holidays are coming and there is a lot to do.  Can you believe that the stores already had their Christmas decorations out several weeks before Halloween?  It’s clear that the merchants would like us to focus on shopping and buying.  It’s easy to get caught up in the frenzy of the holidays – preparing the house for guests or the family for travel, shopping for gifts, preparing for family meals and gatherings – trying to make everything perfect. 

Beware of the perfection trap.  Trying to make everything perfect can increase your stress level and distract your attention from the important things: family togetherness and good cheer.  Think back to your favorite holiday memories – what made them memorable?  Was it the matching table cloth, the perfect flower arrangement, the clean swept floors, the personalized party favors on the plates? I doubt it. 

The memories that endure are those which touch our hearts with the warmth of family, create togetherness with the ones we love: the football game with the cousins between the telephone poles on your grandfather’s street; the snowfall that closes the airports and extends the visit to include a sleepover with sleeping bodies all over the house and a hearty breakfast prepared together the next morning; the intimate conversation with a beloved uncle or aunt in a quiet moment; the laughter of shared memories from previous family gatherings.

What’s the recipe for these wonderful family gatherings?  Simplicity, preparation, pace, collaboration and grace do it for me.  Keeping it simple so that the holiday includes the essentials, but doesn’t require every ounce of effort and attention to logistics allows even the host to participate and interact.  Preparing those elements that can be completed or staged before family arrives will ensure smooth running and more time together.  Pace the holiday so that there’s free, unstructured time for events to unfold naturally – for the chemistry of togetherness to create those special moments that can’t be planned.  Family guests love to have a role in the holiday, so encourage collaboration in preparing meals, cleanup and activities. This relieves some of the stress on the hosts and can contribute to togetherness.  Finally, whether you’re a guest or the host, approach the holiday with grace – conduct yourself for the benefit and enjoyment of others.  If you approach the holidays determined to get everything out of it you can – to get your dose of holiday cheer— you’re likely to be disappointed.  However, if you go into it committed to making it happy and cheerful for all, your expectations will likely be fulfilled.

Finally, make sure you include some reference or mention of the purpose for the holiday and its religious or spiritual meaning.  Whether it’s the Pilgrims thanking God for all of their blessings, the rededication of the Temple, or celebrating the birth of Christ, acknowledging the meaning of the holiday connects everyone with the spirituality of the holiday. 

Traditions tend to arise from things that go well, so don’t be surprised if you find yourself repeating some of the elements year after year.  Happy Thanksgiving!

John Piccone is the publisher of Curious Parents