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Family Reunions: The Ultimate Melting Pot

By Rachel Slaughter

A family that gets together to play together stays together. But making that maxim a reality can be a battle. Next to planning a wedding, a family reunion is one of the most difficult parties you will ever undertake. The success of any family reunion banks solely on the leader. Like a wedding coordinator, a successful reunion organizer is patient, understanding, calm, cool and collected.

Libby Fuller and her husband Robert helped to organize the 1999 Fuller Family Reunion. Frequent hosts of family functions including New Year’s Eve parties, wedding receptions and birthday parties, they were excited about the idea of another family get-together. Any excuse to throw together her famous crab salad, Libby always says. The two readily admit, however, that they could have never done it alone. Agreeing that a committee would help to carry part of the responsibilities, the Fullers put out a call to people they knew could help. Libby formed a reunion committee of twelve people. Right away, the “Dirty Dozen” mapped out meeting dates and formed sub-committees. Starting in April, the group planned for the October reunion.

“I wanted to invite those people to the committee that I knew were willing to cooperate. When they arrived, we all decided on which tasks we were going to complete. I didn’t want to come off as the leader, and I wanted everyone to know that their ideas were welcomed,” Libby said.

The “Dirty Dozen” met monthly while subcommittees gathered socially whenever their schedules coincided. Snacking and chit-chatting were kept to a minimal while the group focused on the jobs at hand. As time passed, the committee continued to add suggestions to the melting pot of ideas. It was then, Libby says, the pot began to boil to the edge. Committee members began to feel slighted as many ideas were tossed around some landing on target and others being brushed to the side. Family members were taking the chat-chew sessions too seriously.

“I wanted the group to remember that we are family. The reunion isn’t really for one person; it is for the family. If you want to bring family together, then you have a reunion. We had cousins we didn’t know and some we had not seen since we were little. We had really lost contact with some folks.”

The Fuller energy was regained and the committee recharged. As the big day approached, the members ticked off tasks. When the special day arrived, the committee relished in their glory know their efforts had not been wasted. But as cousins hugged and children played, Libby couldn’t help to feel a small tinge of regret.

“I had good hopes for the reunion. I was happy that the little disagreements resulted in a happy reunion, but the one-day even was too short. I wish we had organized a weekend event,” Libby says. “We really should have met right away to get the next reunion underway. I don’t want to lose the spirit.”

The family reunion is the ultimate melting pot, however it is a huge under-taking. There are many resources that can aid the reunion leader. But before checking out websites, keep the following tips in mind:

1. Promise yourself to stay organized. Planning a reunion is about juggling loads of tasks. Consider delegating responsibilities among the committee members.
2. Keep the ideas simple. Organizing a reunion is just like organizing a wedding. The headaches are very similar. Any bride can tell you, however, that complicated plans are at the root of most mishaps. Consider this: Don’t book an orchestra if a DJ can do the trick. Keep it simple. Your family is getting together to spend time with each other not relish in the grandiosity of your plans.
3. Plan early. Be aware, most deluxe accommodations are booked a year in advance.
4. Be aware of your family’s financial status. Try to design a budget to meet the needs of your family. If the majority of your family members cannot afford a lavish reunion, then stick to meager plans. Remember, a reunion is about kin camaraderie.
5. Think of ways to keep the spirit alive. When the park is cleaned and the guests go home, you don’t want to fall out of touch with your cousins again. Plan ways to stay in touch to keep the spirit of harmony alive. Try creating a website or newsletter.

Check out this website.

The Family Reunion Institute, School of Social Administration
1301 Cecil B. Moore Avenue, Temple University,
Philadelphia, PA 19122
Phone: 215-204-6244
E-mail: ivargus@astro.temple.edu, Fax: 215-204-9606
www.temple.edu/FRI/familyreunion

Rachel Slaughter is a published author and freelance writer who lives in Lansdowne, PA. To respond, please email compositionalgenius@hotmail.com