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BONDING TIME It’s a Date for Dad & Daughter
By Jessica Sylvester

She loves Dora the Explorer, nail polish, most things pink, and, yes, the beloved dirt pile. But something Halle will always choose over all those things is attention, one-on-one attention. So, when my husband John, who I would have to drag to a show, eagerly announced he had tickets to see one and that Halle, our 3-year-old daughter, would be his date, I knew it would be a special night for them both. We made such a fuss when the night finally arrived; we snapped photos and waved as the happy couple drove off, smiling. They were off to see the musical Annie at the Academy of Music, and they could not have been happier.

With our four kids, Evan, 16, Jake, 7, Halle, 3, and baby Lea, 8 months old, a night alone with one of them can be a much needed recharge for both parent and child. In our house, like so many others out there, in order to keep our family of six a float my husband and I both have to work. Even with me only working on a part-time-basis, finding one-on-one time for the kids is difficult feat. The majority of my time at home is spent shopping for the kids or cleaning the house. On an average day, at least two of the children need attention right at the same moment: the baby needs to be fed while I am reading a book to Jake and mid-sentence Lea spits up on the page and then Halle begins to cry because her sister made a mess on her shirt, so I clean the book and tell Jake to read on his own while I fix up Lea and find Halle a new shirt and what was it that I was doing before all that started? I sometimes feel more like a cleaning lady, cook or my favorite, a referee, than a mom. The house, well, the house is just pit stop in between things to do.

So far one thing that John and I have figured out is that to make thing work it really helps to be a tag team. Halle had no idea what the theater was going to entail and to tell you the truth she really didn’t care—all she knew was that she would be receiving some one-on-one time with her dad and that sounds pretty good to her. She would be the apple of his eye (like she is every other day but without others to distract him from reminding her of that). The “others” of course would need to be taken care of and that is where I come in. With Halle out on the town, Jake, Lea and I could spend time playing and being a family. Usually, Jake and Halle argue over just who Lea wants to play with or who should pick out a toy for her, but tonight there was no competition just play time.

We made Lea laugh and giggle and she got the undivided attention of us both. After Lea went off to bed Jake and mommy popped in a DVD and had a movie night, just us. I really can’t remember the last time that happened. It turned out to be a nice night for everyone.

The show ran way past Halle’s bed time, and I was actually becoming nervous when the clock kept ticking away. She is only 3. Then I heard the truck pull in the driveway. I waited for the happy couple to arrive with lots to talk about but the drive home had left Halle asleep on John’s shoulder. With a sleepy smile on her face, she began to protest putting on her pajamas but relented and flopped into bed. John on the other hand was not tired at all. He told me about the show, which he had seen as a kid, and how impressed he was with Halle. She watched the whole thing. She sat on his lap and ate a snack and watched the show until the curtain fell. He said he wanted to save the play bill and the play bills to all the other shows they would be seeing together. I just sat back sipping a cup of tea and listened to him gush about her. The night was never about the show, it was about the time, about the connection.

The next “date” for this couple may or may not be to another trip to the theatre, but it really doesn’t matter, because what Halle needed, what they both needed, was some special time for father and daughter to connect. Now, according to Jake, I have a lot to learn about hockey.